Lurgan Coat of Arms The Armagh Guardian

30 January, 1862  


A witness named Thomas Magilligan, while giving evidence before the magistrates at Lurgan on Friday; excited a good deal of amusement by some of his replies to Mr. M'Mechan, the attorney who was examining him. On being asked if the party against whom the case was brought was sober, 'he replied. “ I saw Mr. Monaghan ." tossicated," but there never was a man drunk except Jonas.” (Loud laughter)

Mr. Hamil. “I think, Mr. Mechan you have caught a strange fish.” (Laughter)

Mr. Hancock (to witness): “Will you explain, what you mean by saying no man was ever drunk but Jonas?”

Witness. “Why, Jonas was drunk by the whale, without ever putting a tooth in' him, and that's what I mean.”

Mr. Mechan (to witness): “Do you mean to say: no man was ever drunk but Jonas?”

Witness: “I do mean that, for he was drunk up, and no one. else was so drunk up.”

Mr. Hamil (to Mr. Mechan): “Use the word drunkenness, and he'll understand it. If he knew the meaning of the phrase he would not be talking as he is.”

Mr. Mechan:- “You have been sworn on the word of God, and is that idle answer a proper one? You wretch!”

Mr. Hamil: “Oh, do not call the witness a wretch”

Witness to Mr. Mechann: “You are as big a wretch as I am.”

Mr. Mechan: “Do you swear that?”

Witness “You bear that 'opinion of me, and I bear the same of you.”

Mr. Mechan: “You are a pretty witness indeed.

Mr. Hamil “The witness merely used a figurative phrase the man was, drunk into the belly of a whale.”


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